Gundam Boys In Tolkien
by Elderith
Summary: I decided to try and present the Lord of the Rings using my favorite G-boys. Nice and short and lots of fun.


Quick Author's Note: I decided to combine two of my favorite things in one fic

Quick Author's Note:  I decided to combine two of my favorite things in one fic.  The G-boys and Tolkien.  Tolkien is an author who wrote the Lord of the Rings series, a fantasy about Hobbits, elves, dwarves and the like.  Just so you know.  Now with no further adieu.  Here is the tale…

Gundam Boys In Tolkien

By: Elderith

All Mighty - All Knowing - Supreme Author: *clears throat* In a place far away, in a place called the Middle Earth, there lived a hobbit named Duo...

Duo: *jumping and yelling after being turned into a tiny hobbit* I'm a hobbit!  I'm a hobbit!  I'm a h...

(Th-wap!)

Duo: *unconscious*

Trowa: *grinning*

AMAKSA: Thank you, now, on a journey, Duo met an Elf (Trowa), a strider (Heero), a dwarf (Wufei) and a wizard (Quatre).

G-boys minus Duo: *turn into their characters.  All but Wufei are pleased*

Wufei: Dishonor!  I am a warrior and I get to be a chubby midget?!  Quatre is... well him!  And he is a wizard?!

Quatre: *standing tall over dwarf-Wufei* I don't know, I like you as a dwarf. *tries not to laugh*

Wufei: *grunts* You would...

AMAKSA: Well, I guess I can change that one little thing.

*POOF!*

Wufei: *now as tall wizard* Much better.

Quatre: *as dwarf-Quatre, shrugs*

AMAKSA: Now, As I was saying!

G-boys: *stop fidgeting and pay attention*

AMAKSA: Better, now, the five companions were walking through a dark forest.  As you are walking, Duo accidentally falls into a cave and is lost in the pitch black darkness.

G-boys minus Duo: Yes!  Finally! *high fives all around*

AMAKSA: He comes back!

G-boys: Darn it! *continue walking*

AMAKSA: And don't try leaving him behind! *shakes head* Duo stumbles around in the darkness and stumbles upon a disgusting creature that smelled of rotting fish and stink.  That repulsive creature was one called Relena.

Heero: *laughing*

AMAKSA: *to Heero* Thought you would enjoy that.  Anyways, after winning in a battle of wits, Duo manages to escape the evil monster.

Duo: *jumping* Yay!  I won!

Other boys: *shocked*

Trowa: How on earth?

Wufei: Our Duo?

Quatre: I think you messed up somewhere AMAKSA.

Heero: That can't be right.

Duo: *sweat drop* Awww.... give me a little more credit than that.

AMAKSA: Yeah, do.  Oh wait, I did mess up.  Duo did not win, just merely stumbled onto a ring out of pure luck.  That ring makes the owner invisible...

Duo: Yay!  Still good.

AMAKSA: *continues* And he found his way back to the group and showed off his ring.

Wufei: Great!  Just another thing he can annoy us with.

  


Heero: Omae o korosu, Duo baka.

Duo: *silence*

AMAKSA: The group continues on their journey to the dark dragon's cave.  On the way...

Quatre: *slightly nervous*  Wait!  We are going to face a dragon?

Heero: That is what the AMAKSA said.

Quatre: I know but...

Heero: Just shut up Quatre and let's get this story over with.

AMAKSA: Thanks, I think.  Anyway, the group continues on all the while being unaware of the fact that the nasty Relena was following them.

Heero: Dang it!  I thought I was rid of her for at least one fic!

AMAKSA: *Death glare to Heero (oh my gosh!  Someone actually death glared Heero?!)* Stop complaining, I could make this a lot worse for you.

Heero: *actually steps down from this one*

AMAKSA: After a long meeting with Elves from Trowa's home place of Rivendell, the group heads off once again.  They are all now well armed with swords and weapons of all kinds.  Duo is equipped with a dagger, Heero and Trowa with swords, Quatre with a battle axe and Wufei needs nothing more than his wizard's staff.

*G-boys handle their weapons, inspecting them, most impressed.*

Wufei: *firmly*  I want a sword.

AMAKSA: You're a wizard.  You don't use a sword.

Wufei: *stands his ground and glares with open hand* My sword...

AMAKSA: No!  You are a wizard!

Wufei: Does it look like I care?

Trowa: Oh give him the stupid sword already or he'll kill someone.

AMAKSA: *shrugs* Fine. *Throws Wufei a well-crafted oriental 

sword that definitely looks weird with a wizard.* Now may I get on with the story?!?

Wufei: *quite pleased with himself* Please do.

AMAKSA: *mumbles choice words under breath* Now!  You guys are so terrible to work with we are skipping over the part with the giant spiders, water Elves, goblins and the giant feast.  We're going straight to the end!

Heero: *sarcastically while leaning against a tree* Oh darn, I was so looking forward to those spiders.

Duo: *Huge "?"  Bubble* We are skipping a feast?!

Other G-boys *sweat drop*

AMAKSA: *Yells* For once just forget about food Duo and listen to me!

Wufei: That will be the day...

Trowa: Actually, I am kinda hungry, a feast doesn't sound all that bad.

Quatre: Yeah!  I hope they have tea!

Heero: What is with you and your tea?!  Can't we go just one day without you whining about your tea?  I'm sorry but the way you like your tea so much is just disturbing.

Quatre: That's disturbing?!  At least I don't wear spandex!

Heero: You wear pink!

Quatre: I have twenty-nine sisters!  I don't have a choice!

AMAKSA: ENOUGH!  The both of you SHUT UP!  That is it!  I've had it with you five.  We are skipping right to the end.  I can't take it anymore.  Just shut up for one little scene okay?!  JUST ONE!

G-boys: *silence?*

Duo: (thought it was too good to be true) *laughs at Quatre and Heero*  Man, she sure...

AMAKSA: That goes double for you Duo! *silence again* Now, the last scene is in the Dark Kingdom...

Quatre: What about that dragon...

AMAKSA: *horribly frustrated* Will you forget about the stupid dragon!  We skipped everything except the last scene.  I told you that!

Quatre: So does that include...

AMAKSA: *mentally snapped*  YES!  Everything!  Dragons, goblins, everything!  The things of every!  Nothing has been left out of the "things we skipped list" All that is left is the last scene!

Quatre: So...

Other G-boys: *Four guns pointed at Quatre* Shut up!

Quatre: *shrinks away*

AMAKSA: I am going to finish this!  Now, all of you are at the top of Mount Mortar.  This is the only place where the ring can be destroyed.  The ring must be thrown inside the volcano, then the evil will be vanquished and the Dark Lord (not explained cuz everything was skipped!)  will thus die.

Duo: *repulsed* I will NOT destroy my ring!  I have become very attached to this ring and I will not throw it in some freak volcano from nowhere!

Heero: Actually, Duo, it is a freak volcano from Mount Mortar.

Duo: Does it look like I care?!

AMAKSA: *calmly* Fine.

G-boys: *all shocked*

Wufei: You are listening to him?

AMAKSA: *again* Fine, Heero will do it.  And if he cooperates, maybe Relena will die.

Heero: *jumps up ready to do anything now*

AMAKSA: Give up the ring Duo!

Duo: *tries to run but a random log falls from the air and renders him unconscious.  (AMAKSA can add anything to her fic)*

Heero: *snatches ring* What do I have to do?

AMAKSA: Wait for the repulsive Relena to come from hiding, which should be soon, then devise a way to get her and the ring into the volcano.

Heero: I can just throw them both in?  _BOTH_ of 'em?  For sure?

AMAKSA: *nodded*

Heero: YES!  FINALLY!

Relena: *comes running across scene towards Heero* My ring!

Heero: Want it?  Go get it! *throws ring into the lava and Relena dives after it*

All G-boys but Heero: *rejoice* YAY!

Heero: Actually, I didn't like it that way, too boring, can I do it differently?  And do anything I'd like to get them both in?

AMAKSA: Sure, what the heck, let me just pull the story back some...

*Flash!*

Relena: *comes running across scene towards Heero* My ring!

Heero: *pulls many high powered guns from cloak and shoots many well-earned holes into Relena after using Wufei's staff as a flamethrower on her.*

AMAKSA: *cracking up with laughter* That's just great but they are both still out of the lava.

Heero: *shrugs and kicks what is left of Relena into the pit and simply tossed in the ring after her* Better?

AMAKSA: Much.  Now, I can finally finish the story. *clears throat again* Our heroes, mission now completed, depart on their separate ways.  The evil is once again destroyed and the world is safe once again...

Heero: Most importantly, Relena is dead.

AMAKSA: That was not the point of the story, Heero.

Duo: Who cares?  She is finally gone!

Wufei: No more of her stupid peace and unearned justice!

AMAKSA: I said, that wasn't the...

Trowa: No more pointless lectures about peace that only waste fifteen minutes of a good episode.

AMAKSA: You guys!  That is not the point!

Duo: *starts singing* No more Relena, She's finally dead!  Heero finally shot her head!  (And so on continuously)

AMAKSA: Shut up Duo!

Duo: *still singing*

AMAKSA: *grabs head* The pain you cause me!  Stop it!

Trowa: If you give us the ending we want we'll shut him up for you.

AMAKSA: But Relena's death had nothing to do with Tolkien's story!

Wufei: Fine, I guess we will have to join him in his song then. *starts singing*

AMAKSA: *so confused* Wufei, that is just WRONG!  For the sake of humanity man, stop it!

*singing still*

AMAKSA: Fine, I give up!  To all you fan fic readers out there, who actually read this far.  The point of the story, no matter how strange, is that Relena is finally dead! *Mumbles to herself* Who cares that the evil was finally vanquished and I killed myself trying to get these idiots to properly represent the story, only to have my hopes and dreams completely obliterated.

Trowa: Much better! *pulls out gun and points at Duo and Wufei* Now shut up!

*silence reigns*

AMAKSA: *from under arms where she buried her head in defeat* Finally, it's over...

**THUS ENDS THE STORY!**

Author's Note: Sorry, I know it was strange and very mis-represented but that what happens when you try to get over a thousand pages of story into a fic like this.  Also, things got strange so I just let go of trying to follow the story line, if you didn't notice.  For the Relena-haters (like me) I tried to throw in something for you.  Hope you enjoyed!

GRR... legally, I must now say I DO NOT own Gundam Wing.  As much as I love the G-boys and the show, they aren't mine.  This is a FAN FIC... A Fictional Story involving the characters, written by a fan.  So don't sue me!

_Reviews and Comments Welcome___


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